Why waste your energy if you can't be yourself?

There are so many goals, hobbies, and interests that we pursue but do we ever stop and think if we are staying true to ourselves in the process? I have noticed this theme throughout phases my entire life. There have been goals I pursued where I was advised to change things about myself to be successful in whatever I was doing. There is nothing more draining than having to fit a mold to follow some dream. And you might think that this is one of your biggest dreams but you haven't been able to reflect whether or not you are happy, see a future with it, or if you're just losing yourself.

I can recall pursuing this goal and being active in something I thought I wanted but I never took the time to realize if this was gearing me away from being my authentic self and stunting my personal growth. I was told that if I wanted to “win” I needed to tone down aspects of my personality to be more likable. RED FLAG. I will not smile less, rehearse conversations, and change my personal beliefs to win some bragging rights to put on a resume. The thing I love most about myself is my personality and the fact that I bring good energy to those around me. The thought of having to change or adjust was a nightmare. I live by this mindset that what you see out of me is what you get and if you don’t like that, it’s not my problem. There is nothing more exhausting than having to care about what people think of you. God is my only judge in this life.

Just me dressing how I want. You said these tracksuits are out of style? I don't care. I love it.

If you find yourself in this type of situation especially if you are pursuing a personal hobby or goal, allow yourself to grow and let go of the things that are holding you back from reaching your full potential and loving yourself unconditionally. This issue with conformity can happen in any aspect of your life whether it is in your professional, social, or personal world. Think about how boring life would be if everybody was the same.

Now that you've had some time to think and analyze where you are wasting your energy to fit some mold, why were you actively pursuing and spending your time doing this thing? Not to call anyone out but oftentimes we chase things to gain more approval from others. Are we in a certain club, sport, organization, or profession just so that people will hopefully respect us more as they notice we have gained some type of status?

To be brutally honest no one on this floating rock knows what we're doing and we are all confused. We're bound to change in our looks and personalities every 7 years and all of these changes and personal evolutions are for us to figure out as individuals and not the constant noise around us. I believe that in some cases quitters can be winners. Now I feel like a winner because I don't find myself exhausted from seeking approval anymore. The more I have been myself around people, I've brought more positivity into people's lives. For a while, I forgot what it felt like to be authentic. Just do what you love. Don't put your time and energy into something just for public perception. Dress how you want, laugh as much as you want, be as loud or as quiet as you want, and believe what you want, not what you're told to.

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