Dreams can and will change

What gets you out of bed in the morning? How does it make you feel? Are you willing to make the sacrifice and take the steps to obtain it? This was my inner dialogue recently. I had to reevaluate what I actually loved to do versus what I thought I had to do for a sense of purpose. If you were to ask me these questions two years ago, I would have said there is nothing I am passionate about.

Now let’s take a dive into the word passionate. It means more than just “care” about something. You must be willing to change your life and make sacrifices for that thing you know deep down will help fulfill you in the long run. I don’t want to chase the temporary highs in life anymore.

As we grow and evolve our minds and mentality, our dreams and aspirations are subject to change. For example, I no longer aspire to be a professional ballerina as I did when I was four years old. Recently, I had to make a difficult sacrifice and close a chapter in my life because I realized I could not fully commit to it as much as I wanted to anymore. My dreams simply changed and now I want to chase dreams that will be long-term for me.

Get ready for the phrase you would never have thought I would write. That chapter to close was pageantry. I give so much credit to this industry for developing me into the woman I am today, however, my dreams have changed and I know they have changed for the better. I visualize this internal conflict as God’s way of redirecting me.

I have struggled immensely in the past with my identity and self-awareness. I only saw my identity and cared about perceptions through the lens of strangers and spectators. I have grown to realize what I want to do for myself and what I know fills my cup. The theme of my past few years has been making some difficult decisions and sacrifices. But, I feel no loss because I am glad to have had those experiences because I cannot stay in one place and in one chapter forever.

This is what gets me out of bed every day. The thought of moving to the city. I know I am a city girl at heart and I dream every day of that new possible adventure. In my free time, I catch myself stalking employers on LinkedIn for internships I would like to apply to in New York City. That is one social media platform I never thought I would get addicted to. I have discovered this new “businesswoman” mindset and I cannot stop daydreaming about my future career. I want to be active in the entertainment industry along with the business and production side of film and television.

This just had to be my LinkedIn profile ;)

I value my environment and places where I know I will thrive. I used to have no idea what I wanted to pursue in the future. And please do not pressure yourself into rushing to make that decision! Stepping back to evaluate my true passions and interests has taken quite some time and I do not regret that period of self-reflection one bit. The self-reflection will always continue.

Please take care of yourself. Let go of those things that might be holding you back from your true desires and purpose. Do not think that you have to stay in an environment because others and the younger version of you expect it. Where can you thrive? Where can you get uncomfortable to eventually become comfortable?